So I am kind of doing this for myself, because I am closing in on a homecoming here myelf (YAY!), and I think it's always worth remembering all of the tips and tricks I have learned in the last few years of many, many homecomings after trips of varying lengths.
I know these won't all work for everyone, but they are what works for me - at least, most of the time. Some are really little, some are pretty big - so here goes:
1. Remember that you have moved everything around - I am a "rearranger". I constantly move things - big, small or otherwise. I want to make sure that my husband still feels like he is coming home, so I try to leave things out in obvious places that I think he will need. This ties in to the next one,
2. Make a list of stuff to have in the house - I always make sure to have the toiletries ready and out. I don't want him to have to get his travel kit out and feel like he is at a hotel. And I am sure the last thing he wants to do after 48+ hours of travel is dig around in his luggage, so I put the shower gel and shampoo in the shower, the deodorant and toothpaste out on the counter.
3. Understand that time change/jet lag is REAL - I SO didn't get this one until I went to Italy with Chris this past summer. I got home and it was like 3 am Italian time, I had been traveling for a day, and things had been relatively quiet for a week. The kids met me at the airport and suddenly I was pluged into a noisy, confusing world! I was THRILLED to see them, but it took an enormous amount of effort to act like myself. I never understood what that was like for him before, and want to be more cognizant of letting him ease in.
4. Don't overschedule at first - this is a place where things might vary, but my husband isn't overly social. I am, and have been cooped up with kids so my first instinct is always - "YOU ARE HOME, LETS GO EVERYWHERE AND SEE EVERYONE WE KNOW!". This never ends well. He isn't ready (see #3), I feel bad and the activities dont end up being much fun. I have learned in time that the very best memories I have are of us just hanging out in our living room or snuggling with the kids in bed just getting reacquainted in our normal setting.
5. Have no expectations (at least at first) - some people might not agree with this one, but this works best for me. I catch myself thinking a lot - "ohhh, I can't wait until Chris comes home - this will be better, this will magically work, he can solve this problem, etc, etc". Not only is it unrealistic for me to think that he is a fairy complete with magic, this puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on him.
6. Ask for help and explain things - this is something I still don't do well. Chris genuinely wants to jump in and help when he gets home but is often at a loss for what to do or how to help me. I know that I am hard to help, I always manage to take it as a judgement that I am not doing it well enough myself. I have to take a deep breath and accept the fact that (especially with baby 3 coming) I REALLY need the help and figure out the things that I need the help with.
I know I have a lot more, and I will likely add to this list in the days to come, but it felt good for me to get the thoughts out of my head and into some sort of organized entry here, seeing as how the lack of leep and pregnancy is making me unable to remember my own name from one moment to the next.
