I have felt this compulsion lately to write. And to write a lot, but everytime I think of coming back to this I think that I need to provide some sort of accounting of my time, catch everything up, etc. And then I realized that the beauty of having no real audience is there is absolutely no need to do anything like that.
And so... I am growing into my space lately. I suddenly find myself comfortable with home, with where I am. I love to watch my children play in the backyard and I love the life we are living. I do have some problems with the weather but I think a lot of it is mind over matter and I am trying to change my outlook.
Part of changing that outlook is taking care of me during this deployment (see, so much to catch up on!). When Chris leaves, i have to take extra steps to safeguard my sanity. I am proud to say that this has been my easiest postpartum period. So far I don't feel the least bit crazy or depressed, and I had an extremely difficult time with both of my other two and so was prepared to jump on the first signs of it this go around.
And yet..Penelope is a whole different ball of wax. She kind of exists in our existing life, if that makes sense. It's like she has always been there, smiling her gigantic smile up at us and really requiring little outside of that. Even waking up with her in the middle of the night is easy, partially because my extremely smart husband put her in the room right off our bedroom. She is lovely and engaged and quite possibly the sweetest and happiest baby who has ever lived. Any doubts I had about adding baby number 3 are so long gone, thankfully.
I have been exercising. Somehow I have even been doing it regularly. I am proud of myself, but still taking this extremely day to day. I know better than to get ahead of myself. It feels great and it's so nice to take a break from the kids (the YMCA here has child care that is awesome). I have done a wide range of interesting classes and am loving just feeling my body move after a difficult pregnancy and very slow c-section/tubal recovery.
And ther eis alot more to say, but a certain 2 year old keeps taking over my mouse!
