I probably should write a whole separate post about us planning this vacation - how much fun it was. We have spent entirely too much time apart and it was so nice to be able to put together a trip that was just for us. Luckily, my mom and my Godmother, Helen, were happy to come watch the kids for the entire 10 days and that left us able to go..well, anywhere. Within reason, of course! I had pretty much thought I had talked Chris out of this vacation but he really wanted to take me to give me a break from dealing with everything without him. I can't believe how incredibly fortunate I am to have him.
We decided to go with this cruise in particular for a few reasons. The first is that trying to go all over Europe, carrying stuff, cramming things in, switching hotels, etc sounded exhausting. Since that was the opposite of what we were going for here (we both needed REST!), this cruise gave us a nice mix of activity and relaxation. It had a full but not necessarily popular itinerary, but it sounded amazing to us. We were both going to fly into Venice on a Friday and have that full day to explore, then our cruise left from Venice on Satuday at 5. The cruise itinerary looked like this:
Saturday Venice, Italy -- 05:00 PM
Sunday Koper, Slovenia 08:00 AM 07:00 PM
Monday Ravenna, Italy 07:00 AM 07:00 PM
Tuesday Bari, Italy 11:00 AM 08:00 PM
Wednesday Dubrovnik, Croatia 08:00 AM 06:00 PM
Thursday Cruising -- --
Friday Venice, Italy 08:00 AM --
Saturday Venice, Italy -- --
It was on board Royal Caribbean's "Voyager of the Seas".
So I left the kiddos here early in the morning on Thursday and got on the airport shuttle. By this point, my stomach was in a zillion knots. I had written all these pages of instruction for the kids (not that either my mom or Helen needed them) and had left Zoe notes and activities for every day. I pretty much tried to stay up the entire night before thinking I would fall asleep on the plane.
I boarded a plan in Seattle, headed for Amsterdam where I was lucky enough to have an aisle seat. I tried to sleep, but unfortunately nervousness had kicked in, plus I have never been able to sleep on planes. Instead I took advantage of my kid free/husband free time and actually chose which movies to watch for the first time in oh, about 5 years! I watched Black Swan, Country Strong and Hall Pass (don't ask on the last one - everyone around me was watching and laughing hysterically). I also read "Something Borrowed", which was pretty decent.
Our flight landed in Amsterdam and I was totally unprepared for what it was like to change planes in an international airport. We had to go through passport control and I had to walk to a totally different part of the airport that was going to take 17 + 12 minutes according to the signs. I started to become very, very certain that I was going to miss my flight or possibly get bumped as they had been begging for volunteers. The idea of getting stuck so close to seeing Chris was horrible!
But through sheer will and determination, I made the plane just in the knick of time. I did get thoroughly and totally groped by a woman in security there, it seemed to be the norm. I ended up on the plane next to a very, very friendly couple from the UK who were also going on a Royal Caribbean cruise out of Venice, but a 13 day itineray. He could tell I was a nervous wreck and talked me into taking the red wine they offered with breakfast and then they chatted my ear off the whole flight. It was wonderful! I don't know how I would have made it without the distraction. By the time they began the initialy descent into Venice, my heart was thudding louder than the engines and I could barely hear the landing gear descent. We hadn't been able to speak and I wasn't sure if we were going to be meeting at a wine bar we had discussed, right off my plane, or near the baggage carousel. I wanted time to brush teeth, hair, etc, but the flow took me right to baggage and there he was. I swear that we have been separated like 30 times but every single time I see him in an airport like that, I want to drop everything and run and jump into his arms! I sort of/kind of restrained myself but I know I had an idiotic grin spread all across my face. I honestly couldn't believe that I was in Italy! With chris! With no kids! And in italy! And with Chris!
This has gotten longer than I expected, so I am going to end Part 1, Part A here for now.
Showing posts with label chris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chris. Show all posts
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
PIcking Myself Up By My Bootstraps...
The first few hours after Chris leaves are always very intense. Basically the overwhelming feeling is panic. It's strange and it always catches me by surprise. I expect to be sad, I expect to be determined. I always, always forget the panic. Today while looking forward onto a fairly long period of time without him, I sort of felt like the wind got knocked out of me a bit.
But I have managed to get through an entire nine hours without him so far and pretty soon I will head off to bed, having survived a day. One then once one day is over, the next one starts and then ends and before you know it, this whole thing is a distant memory.
People approach the initial send off in different ways. Some people like to take their "other" to the airport, others like to stay home and not deal with the emotional intensity that occurs there. We have always gone to the airport together (in fact we have a wonderful, long standing joke about this that makes it sort of fun). In the past, I have both scheduled a million things for the hours after and scheduled nothing at all, wanting to be alone with the feelings.
I toed the line today. I made no plans ahead of time, but called a good friend of mine who has a daughter Zoe's age first, figuring the distraction would be good for both of us. We had a very casual day. Luckily the sun was shining and I was able to soak up some much needed Vitamin D. I also made plans to have dinner at Panera Bread with my sister in law and nephew, who always cheer me up.
We left everyone at about 6:30 and drove home before the girls' bedtime. This gave me time to cuddle, change and feed Abby and then to read, snuggle and talk with Zoe. It was a great mix of busy and calm. Everyone is sound asleep now, including the dog, who is always unhappy when she realizes that Daddy isn't here.
I am left alone with my emotions and I have had some ups and downs so far. The hardest part isn't that I have to be self-reliant. The hardest part isn't the loneliness. The hardest part isn't the work involved. The hardest part is just missing the person who I love talking to, adore listening to, and who pushes me when I need it. But I digress into cheesiness.
I have scheduled appointments with some baby sitters tonight. I do have in laws an hour or so away, but I think I need to have some back ups in case of emergency and for sanity. I am also trying to schedule some classes for January and will need some help with Abby then.
On a lighter note, I am reading "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest". It's a fantastic book, the final in the series. And with Chris gone, I am finally going to finish it. Not a fair trade off by any means, but I am trying to look on the bright side here.
But I have managed to get through an entire nine hours without him so far and pretty soon I will head off to bed, having survived a day. One then once one day is over, the next one starts and then ends and before you know it, this whole thing is a distant memory.
People approach the initial send off in different ways. Some people like to take their "other" to the airport, others like to stay home and not deal with the emotional intensity that occurs there. We have always gone to the airport together (in fact we have a wonderful, long standing joke about this that makes it sort of fun). In the past, I have both scheduled a million things for the hours after and scheduled nothing at all, wanting to be alone with the feelings.
I toed the line today. I made no plans ahead of time, but called a good friend of mine who has a daughter Zoe's age first, figuring the distraction would be good for both of us. We had a very casual day. Luckily the sun was shining and I was able to soak up some much needed Vitamin D. I also made plans to have dinner at Panera Bread with my sister in law and nephew, who always cheer me up.
We left everyone at about 6:30 and drove home before the girls' bedtime. This gave me time to cuddle, change and feed Abby and then to read, snuggle and talk with Zoe. It was a great mix of busy and calm. Everyone is sound asleep now, including the dog, who is always unhappy when she realizes that Daddy isn't here.
I am left alone with my emotions and I have had some ups and downs so far. The hardest part isn't that I have to be self-reliant. The hardest part isn't the loneliness. The hardest part isn't the work involved. The hardest part is just missing the person who I love talking to, adore listening to, and who pushes me when I need it. But I digress into cheesiness.
I have scheduled appointments with some baby sitters tonight. I do have in laws an hour or so away, but I think I need to have some back ups in case of emergency and for sanity. I am also trying to schedule some classes for January and will need some help with Abby then.
On a lighter note, I am reading "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest". It's a fantastic book, the final in the series. And with Chris gone, I am finally going to finish it. Not a fair trade off by any means, but I am trying to look on the bright side here.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Brief Q & A About the Upcoming Deployment
I have received a variety of questions/comments about Chris' upcoming deployments and I expect my blog posts will pick up as a way of keeping him in the loop. I am going to just address some things that I have been asked or told so far.
Q: He is out of the army. Why is he going back there?
A: Yes, he got out of the army. And while in the army, he did all of the things he was supposed to (got a Bachelor's Degree and a Cisco certification) and he was fortunate enough to get a great job in this economy. That job kind of expects people to take their "turn" overseas and it's good to get it over with early on.
Q: Well, I imagine it will be easier since he is "just" a contractor.
A: Anytime we are separated is difficult on all of us, whether he is overseas or one state over. However, this is something that we have become good at and we will get through this. I also get just as pissed off at this comment as I did when people told me that I was "just" his girlfriend, "just" his fiance, or that he "just" did shorter deployments. None of this makes a freaking difference. One day is great, the next one sucks. And there are tons of Navy wives who go through this all the time when their husbands are on subs or on a ship and I can only imagine how aggravated they must feel when being told "at least" their husbands aren't overseas.
Q: Isn't that a really horrible thing to do to the kids?
A: Well, we had a lot of difficult choices to make. Staying in the army would have been pretty difficult given some situations with the housing market and our condo in Florida. We wanted to give them a house with a yard and great schools, and so we are sacrificing to make that happen.
Q: But don't you think the industrial-military complex is just soo messed up? You are profiting from the war.
A: How I feel about the industrial-military complex will always come second to how I feel about my family. And I find this vaguely insulting. Contractors actually outnumber soldiers on the ground in Afghanistan right now, and I think that it's great that some very overworked soldiers (who have done multiple deployments with little rest) get to be home for a change. And while I have some issues with the concept in general, I can't help the fact that it's the reality of the world.
So that's that. I am having some difficulty figuring out how this is all going to go, and how and if it willbe different from being a military spouse. I am sure that some things will be much easier and others might be somewhat harder.
The bottom line in all of this: I support my husband, who is doing an extraordinary thing to take care of his me and our daughters.
Q: He is out of the army. Why is he going back there?
A: Yes, he got out of the army. And while in the army, he did all of the things he was supposed to (got a Bachelor's Degree and a Cisco certification) and he was fortunate enough to get a great job in this economy. That job kind of expects people to take their "turn" overseas and it's good to get it over with early on.
Q: Well, I imagine it will be easier since he is "just" a contractor.
A: Anytime we are separated is difficult on all of us, whether he is overseas or one state over. However, this is something that we have become good at and we will get through this. I also get just as pissed off at this comment as I did when people told me that I was "just" his girlfriend, "just" his fiance, or that he "just" did shorter deployments. None of this makes a freaking difference. One day is great, the next one sucks. And there are tons of Navy wives who go through this all the time when their husbands are on subs or on a ship and I can only imagine how aggravated they must feel when being told "at least" their husbands aren't overseas.
Q: Isn't that a really horrible thing to do to the kids?
A: Well, we had a lot of difficult choices to make. Staying in the army would have been pretty difficult given some situations with the housing market and our condo in Florida. We wanted to give them a house with a yard and great schools, and so we are sacrificing to make that happen.
Q: But don't you think the industrial-military complex is just soo messed up? You are profiting from the war.
A: How I feel about the industrial-military complex will always come second to how I feel about my family. And I find this vaguely insulting. Contractors actually outnumber soldiers on the ground in Afghanistan right now, and I think that it's great that some very overworked soldiers (who have done multiple deployments with little rest) get to be home for a change. And while I have some issues with the concept in general, I can't help the fact that it's the reality of the world.
So that's that. I am having some difficulty figuring out how this is all going to go, and how and if it willbe different from being a military spouse. I am sure that some things will be much easier and others might be somewhat harder.
The bottom line in all of this: I support my husband, who is doing an extraordinary thing to take care of his me and our daughters.
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