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Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Home for awhile.
Home For Awhile..
Chris has landed safely, home from his Korean adventure where he ate food like baby octupus and some other things with tentacles.
He came baring amazing gifts, and we are so happy to have him here. particularly since we had a ridiculous wind storm last night that would have scared the beejeezus out of me. Instead I slept blissfully wrapped up in his arms, not worried about a thing.
He is off again in a few weeks, and that's strange to know. I feel bad watching him poke around the house. I know he feels sort of alien to the contents of it and to our routines, and I want him to feel like he is home, and not just at a temporary stop. It's hard though, when we had almost just moved in. I think he knows though, that home is where his family is.
And I hope to solidify that next week when we go to cut our Christmas tree down. I couldn't be more excited to do this for my very first time. I absolutely love the ritual of getting out the Christmas boxes and remembering all of our stuff and am thrilled that we get to do this part with him. I feel like he will be with us and our kids at Christmas, even though he physically won't; be here. Putting everything up together gives us the opportunity to start some new traditions in our new home.
Chris has landed safely, home from his Korean adventure where he ate food like baby octupus and some other things with tentacles.
He came baring amazing gifts, and we are so happy to have him here. particularly since we had a ridiculous wind storm last night that would have scared the beejeezus out of me. Instead I slept blissfully wrapped up in his arms, not worried about a thing.
He is off again in a few weeks, and that's strange to know. I feel bad watching him poke around the house. I know he feels sort of alien to the contents of it and to our routines, and I want him to feel like he is home, and not just at a temporary stop. It's hard though, when we had almost just moved in. I think he knows though, that home is where his family is.
And I hope to solidify that next week when we go to cut our Christmas tree down. I couldn't be more excited to do this for my very first time. I absolutely love the ritual of getting out the Christmas boxes and remembering all of our stuff and am thrilled that we get to do this part with him. I feel like he will be with us and our kids at Christmas, even though he physically won't; be here. Putting everything up together gives us the opportunity to start some new traditions in our new home.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I am resorting to a list of random thoughts:
1. Friday Night Lights is truly a fantastic show.
2. I need to get the (swear words) Halloween candy out of the house.
3. I need to read a book and quit rotting my brain.
4. I want to go to bed every night at 7:30, but it seems unrealistic.
5. Poor Abby is sick and she is snoring over the monitor and it's breaking my heart.
6. I am surprised by the people I spend a lot of time with, who call and check on me. I am so grateful for the support I am getting.
7. I can't wait for the first snow (no matter what the ramifications of that snow are). I am fairly certain I am going to jump around and shriek.
And with that, I have made it to 8:08. I am going to crawl into bed and listen to my baby on the monitor.
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1. Friday Night Lights is truly a fantastic show.
2. I need to get the (swear words) Halloween candy out of the house.
3. I need to read a book and quit rotting my brain.
4. I want to go to bed every night at 7:30, but it seems unrealistic.
5. Poor Abby is sick and she is snoring over the monitor and it's breaking my heart.
6. I am surprised by the people I spend a lot of time with, who call and check on me. I am so grateful for the support I am getting.
7. I can't wait for the first snow (no matter what the ramifications of that snow are). I am fairly certain I am going to jump around and shriek.
And with that, I have made it to 8:08. I am going to crawl into bed and listen to my baby on the monitor.
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Monday, November 8, 2010
Some humble advice.
I think we all have those people in our lives, that we have fallen out of touch with because...well, we can't remember why.
And now time has gone by and you feel like you don't know how to reconnect, even though you may think of this person often.
Chances are, they feel the same way. And if they are a good friend, when you reach out and say, "hello", they will be right there to say "hello" back.
Call them, write them, hug them, love them!
And now time has gone by and you feel like you don't know how to reconnect, even though you may think of this person often.
Chances are, they feel the same way. And if they are a good friend, when you reach out and say, "hello", they will be right there to say "hello" back.
Call them, write them, hug them, love them!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Our Amazing Dog
I had a request for a Bella-centric post. This dog is the dog that we were always fated to have. She is the most amazing little creature who knows every one of our personalities and tolerates us all. She snuggles when we need her to, and knew I was pregnant before I did! She protects the kids as ferociously as if she weighed 40 pounded instead of 14. She is our Isabella-Boo-Boo-Head and we wouldn't have her any other way.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Oatmeal cookie bars
Because Zoe is having a sleepover and baked goods are a necessity.... (they will never know all the substitutions to the recipe I made to make them healthier than most breakfast cereals)
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Ingredients
- 1 cup shortening (I used 1/2 cup butter and 1/2 cup apple sauce)
- 1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar (I reduced by 1/2 cup)
- 2 eggs
- 2 tablespoons molasses (I used honey)
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 3 cups quick-cooking oats
- 1 cup all-purpose flour (I used whole wheat pastry flour)
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips (I reduced by 1 cup)
- 3/4 cup chopped pecans (I eliminated..they are 5)
Directions
- In a large mixing bowl, cream shortening and brown sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in molasses and vanilla. Combine the oats, flour, baking soda and salt; gradually add to the creamed mixture. Stir in chocolate chips and pecans.
- Spread in a greased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 28-32 minutes or until golden brown and edges pull away from sides of pan. Cool on a wire rack. Cut into bars.
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When everything goes wrong but it ends up totally right.
So I have actually been accomplishing my goals of meeting people lately. I have worked myself out of my perpetually comfortable hermit niche and joined the land of the living. And I am surprised to find that I really like it. I mentioned in a previous post that I have made a great friend Heather and become friends with two of my neighbor, both of whom have children my daughter is crazy about.
My next objective was to find a babysitter. I thought I could interview some people on Craigslist and maybe I would find someone that I just clicked with. So on Monday night, while Heather was over, we met a woman who sounded wonderful in her ad. She had tons of experience, five references, CPR cards, etc.
Well, she showed up and I knew right off the bat that this wasn't going to work out. She was a disaster, and couldn't keep straight who she had every babysat. The clincher came when I asked for her references and she could only supply one, but asked if her best friend from high school would count.
Two words: epic fail.
At this point, I was totally distressed. I know that I absolutely need to have someone that I can call if there is an emergency or situation here. I have my in laws, but they are too far away to really be able to help out in a pinch or on short notice. Also, with Chris being gone for a year, it's just necessary that I have some time to run errands or go to Dr's appointments without kids.
The next day I took a walk to my wonderful neighbor's house, an author namedTheresa. (you will probably see some book plugs on here for her work soon). I was going through the story of my internet nanny plight, and low and behold - she just happened to have a best friend that was looking to baby sit some kids occasionally during the day while she was home with her four year old!
I called her and went to her house the next monring to meet a wonderful, clearly caring mother who has two great dogs, a cat and a house that you can tell is filled with the kind of chaos and love that makes for the best kind of family!
We made arrangements for her to watch the girls for a few hours this morning, so that I could shampoo my carpets. Ok, I admit that this is totally lame but I have the kind of baby that allows me to accomplish absolutely NOTHING during the day.
Sadly, she called this morning to say that her oldest son had gotten sick but she would still be happy to watch them if I wanted. I declined (don't need sick kids on top of everything else!).
But here is where I made so much progress...ordinarily, this would have thrown me for a loop. I am generally horrible with plans changing at the last minute and allow myself to get all "a flutter" and stressed out. But I decided instead that it would be a great morning to try out the local MOPS (mother of preschoolers) group that I had been intending to go to. The deal is that the kids get split into groups and watched while the moms chat, do crafts, have speakers, eat, etc.
So I set out for the church near my house where I knew they had a meeting. Turns out I had gotten the day wrong. Here again, I orindarily would have turned around and headed home but instead I headed to another church where I knew they had the meeting.
I was pretty nervous, it can be very intimidating to walk into a group event where everyone know everyone else and you know nobody, but the only way I am going to survive the next year is to meet people, gosh dang it so I did it.
And oh my gosh, am I so glad I did. Everything just clicked! It was incredible. There were so many wonderful moms. I got to have conversations with about 10 people individually. You are put into a table group and I got pink (first sign I was meant to be there). The food was amazing, they do this incredibly ridiculous spread with coffee and homemade treats.
They start out with a raffle which I totally WON (second sign I was meant to be there!).
And then the speaker came on - she was talking about how to stop being so frustrated and angry with your children. This is something that I have put my primary focus on in the last several months. I hate being the mom who yells all the time. It was so nice to see the other forty moms nodding in the places I was, relating to this women, hearing other people's struggles with the same things. I swear I got all teary eyed when she started talking because I just could not believe the series of events that had brought me to exactly where I needed to be this morning.
I can't wait for the next meeting, and that is saying a lot for me! The girls had a blast in their groups and I am riding high on the positive energy of the day!
My next objective was to find a babysitter. I thought I could interview some people on Craigslist and maybe I would find someone that I just clicked with. So on Monday night, while Heather was over, we met a woman who sounded wonderful in her ad. She had tons of experience, five references, CPR cards, etc.
Well, she showed up and I knew right off the bat that this wasn't going to work out. She was a disaster, and couldn't keep straight who she had every babysat. The clincher came when I asked for her references and she could only supply one, but asked if her best friend from high school would count.
Two words: epic fail.
At this point, I was totally distressed. I know that I absolutely need to have someone that I can call if there is an emergency or situation here. I have my in laws, but they are too far away to really be able to help out in a pinch or on short notice. Also, with Chris being gone for a year, it's just necessary that I have some time to run errands or go to Dr's appointments without kids.
The next day I took a walk to my wonderful neighbor's house, an author namedTheresa. (you will probably see some book plugs on here for her work soon). I was going through the story of my internet nanny plight, and low and behold - she just happened to have a best friend that was looking to baby sit some kids occasionally during the day while she was home with her four year old!
I called her and went to her house the next monring to meet a wonderful, clearly caring mother who has two great dogs, a cat and a house that you can tell is filled with the kind of chaos and love that makes for the best kind of family!
We made arrangements for her to watch the girls for a few hours this morning, so that I could shampoo my carpets. Ok, I admit that this is totally lame but I have the kind of baby that allows me to accomplish absolutely NOTHING during the day.
Sadly, she called this morning to say that her oldest son had gotten sick but she would still be happy to watch them if I wanted. I declined (don't need sick kids on top of everything else!).
But here is where I made so much progress...ordinarily, this would have thrown me for a loop. I am generally horrible with plans changing at the last minute and allow myself to get all "a flutter" and stressed out. But I decided instead that it would be a great morning to try out the local MOPS (mother of preschoolers) group that I had been intending to go to. The deal is that the kids get split into groups and watched while the moms chat, do crafts, have speakers, eat, etc.
So I set out for the church near my house where I knew they had a meeting. Turns out I had gotten the day wrong. Here again, I orindarily would have turned around and headed home but instead I headed to another church where I knew they had the meeting.
I was pretty nervous, it can be very intimidating to walk into a group event where everyone know everyone else and you know nobody, but the only way I am going to survive the next year is to meet people, gosh dang it so I did it.
And oh my gosh, am I so glad I did. Everything just clicked! It was incredible. There were so many wonderful moms. I got to have conversations with about 10 people individually. You are put into a table group and I got pink (first sign I was meant to be there). The food was amazing, they do this incredibly ridiculous spread with coffee and homemade treats.
They start out with a raffle which I totally WON (second sign I was meant to be there!).
And then the speaker came on - she was talking about how to stop being so frustrated and angry with your children. This is something that I have put my primary focus on in the last several months. I hate being the mom who yells all the time. It was so nice to see the other forty moms nodding in the places I was, relating to this women, hearing other people's struggles with the same things. I swear I got all teary eyed when she started talking because I just could not believe the series of events that had brought me to exactly where I needed to be this morning.
I can't wait for the next meeting, and that is saying a lot for me! The girls had a blast in their groups and I am riding high on the positive energy of the day!
Monday, November 1, 2010
The loooong and the short of it all.
I am in the mood to count my blessings. I know that I have many and the heavy Christmas marketing that is already starting is making me start to feel merry and emotional. I thin.k that this desire to sit here and catalogue all of the positive things in my life is a reaction to a small (okay maybe not so small) freakout I had today.
I thought about what it's been like since Chris has been gone, and I did the thing that you should never, ever do. I counted. I realized that he has only been gone less than two weeks, and that there is so much more to go. I know that he is going to be home for a short period here soon, but then the year doesn't even start until after that. And that is just such a long time.
I think that maybe these separations are a little like walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon. You just need to put one foot in front of the other and take it one step at a time. If you stop to look down or at how far you have left to go, you are just plain screwed. And I think that I did that today.
But I have a lot to be proud of so far in how I am handling this deployment. I think that the most important thing for me to remember is that life doesn't end when he is gone. I can't spend the next year just waiting for him to come back, because one year is a long time. It is 1/30th of my life, 1/5th of Zoe's, 1/2 of Abby's. And so we are all going to do things and truly live and enjoy the next year.
Yes, there is a hole. There will always be that hole. But we fill it. We talk to him daily. He watched the kids play from hotel rooms far away. Heck, he even watched Zoe while I jumped in the shower the other day! And I miss him. Oh, do I miss him. I guess the best thing about deployments is that the distance really makes you stop and realize just how much of an important role that someone plays in your life. Chris is my rock. He makes sense even when nothing makes sense.
But I am handling this very well. I am proud of myself. I have amazing friends who fly from across the country to be with me. I have a mom who is coming to man the troops at Christmas. I have a sister in law who came to make the weekend less lonely. I took initiative and made a new friend who is in a very similiar situation who has been just great for me and the kids. I am doing things, teaching the kids, reading to them, reading to myself and living life. I am going to be okay. We are all going to be okay.
And that is the biggest blessing of all.
I thought about what it's been like since Chris has been gone, and I did the thing that you should never, ever do. I counted. I realized that he has only been gone less than two weeks, and that there is so much more to go. I know that he is going to be home for a short period here soon, but then the year doesn't even start until after that. And that is just such a long time.
I think that maybe these separations are a little like walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon. You just need to put one foot in front of the other and take it one step at a time. If you stop to look down or at how far you have left to go, you are just plain screwed. And I think that I did that today.
But I have a lot to be proud of so far in how I am handling this deployment. I think that the most important thing for me to remember is that life doesn't end when he is gone. I can't spend the next year just waiting for him to come back, because one year is a long time. It is 1/30th of my life, 1/5th of Zoe's, 1/2 of Abby's. And so we are all going to do things and truly live and enjoy the next year.
Yes, there is a hole. There will always be that hole. But we fill it. We talk to him daily. He watched the kids play from hotel rooms far away. Heck, he even watched Zoe while I jumped in the shower the other day! And I miss him. Oh, do I miss him. I guess the best thing about deployments is that the distance really makes you stop and realize just how much of an important role that someone plays in your life. Chris is my rock. He makes sense even when nothing makes sense.
But I am handling this very well. I am proud of myself. I have amazing friends who fly from across the country to be with me. I have a mom who is coming to man the troops at Christmas. I have a sister in law who came to make the weekend less lonely. I took initiative and made a new friend who is in a very similiar situation who has been just great for me and the kids. I am doing things, teaching the kids, reading to them, reading to myself and living life. I am going to be okay. We are all going to be okay.
And that is the biggest blessing of all.
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